Many years ago I heard a saying that goes something like this: “If three people tell you you’re an asshole, it’s probably true.” The gist of this saying is: If three separate, unrelated individuals at different places and times all give you the same feedback, it’s probably accurate. I’d take it a step further and say that when the same information or feedback keeps coming to you, you should stop, listen, assess, and perhaps take action.
“You should blog” has been coming at me for a while now. My first recollection of this advice was about three years ago. The three-person marker blew by a long time ago and I didn’t listen. But the frequency of this comment has increased and the volume has gotten louder. So, I stopped. I listened. I assessed. I ignored.
Then on a trip to Paris last May while brainstorming work/career with a friend, she suggested I blog. I thought “Not this again” and chuckled a bit to myself. Her advice was to just write something, put it up, and see how it goes. “Just do it.” But I had resistance to blogging. It was palpable. In trying to squirm out of the conversation, I did what we all do these days. I checked my smartphone. Lo and behold, the first thing I saw on my Facebook feed was this quote:
Again, I had to chuckle a bit. The exact advice my friend had just given was now staring me in the face. So now Facebook is telling me to blog? It felt like another sign. More feedback. More nudging.
I became more confident about blogging at that point. It felt like divine inspiration, like the universe guiding me down this path. But I didn’t stay in that mindset. I’ve been open, and then closed, about it. Revolving door. The questions came, from my own mind, and from others. What will I write about? Will anyone read it? Will I use a nom de plume? Do I need photographs of myself for the blog? If so, will readers be influenced by my race, face, gender, how I dress, etc.? Does it matter? Who is my target audience? Who will design my logo? Will this impact future employment? And on and on and on. The questions were enough to smother my inspiration and belief in the possibility.
So I procrastinated, as I tend to do. I discussed the idea with a few trusted friends. Everyone was supportive and encouraging me to take this step. I felt the excitement and the pressure, the freedom and the fear. Eventually I took steps. I bought my domain name, hosting, and other services. I contacted logo designers. I started to solidify my “concept” although I was still nagged by many doubts and questions.
A few weeks later my department was outsourced. I was laid off. Unemployment sounds so great when you’re employed! Severance pay? YES! Time to do all the things I love? YES! The reality has been pretty far from that. Ha! It’s been a few months now since that fateful day came and went. I haven’t felt inspired to write. I haven’t wanted to spend money on logo design and photographs when I need money for food and rent. Mostly I’m avoiding traveling to Crazytown every day! You know, idle hands and the devil’s playground and all that nonsense starts to make sense when you are idling, waiting, figuring out where to go next (and you know, not to the place with the crazies).
But here I am, writing. Beginning. What is my niche? Well, me, of course. I cannot pretend to be an expert on anything other than myself. My friend and spiritual psychologist told me once that she works on herself because she “doesn’t want to die fucked up.” When she said that, I really felt that she was speaking for me. I didn’t set out in life to make the most money or die with the most toys. My mission has been to know and understand myself through whatever means necessary, and to hopefully improve as a person through that knowledge and understanding. There is still a lot to be learned as I grow older and change. By sharing my journey I hope to influence you to dig deeper, to know yourself better, and to design your best life, regardless of your ideas of what you “should” be doing.
So what will I write about? I will write about things I like, my lifestyle, my point of view, my history, my journey, and whatever else comes up for me. I’m hoping you’ll be entertained. I’m hoping you may be inspired. At minimum, I’m hoping someone actually reads this!
So, I cast aside the notion of the “perfect moment” or “perfect topic” or “having it all ready to launch.” And I begin. Imperfect. Half-cocked. Driving under the influence of unemployment and the unknown. I hope you’ll be my passenger for at least a bit of this ride.
Ready, set, GO!
This blog post is lovingly dedicated to my dear baby-sister-from-another-mister, Karla, as she was the first person to suggest this journey, to Jodi for her Nike attitude, and to all my friends that have nudged me along the way.